She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
