She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
