I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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