Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
