Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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