he was CRYING into my vagina
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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