I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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