Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
