To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize