take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
