She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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