i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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