Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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