her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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