guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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