Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Who put my cat in the fridge?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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