he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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