this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
