Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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