I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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