Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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