You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
