just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
