We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
