maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My vagina is very pro this idea
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