I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
