Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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