I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
