My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize