Don't you send me to vm
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
