just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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