Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
