i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
