I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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