the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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