Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
