So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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