I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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