don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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