Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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