Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
