office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
