Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
