i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
