I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
