i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
