Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
