I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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