Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
