Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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