We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
