he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize