Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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