they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
