Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize