Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Found the puke drawer
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize