Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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