it was like his penis was on wheels.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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