i just made my gag reflex go away.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
