so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he thought i was a dude.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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