I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
