rhymes with "ouble enetration"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
